BLOG POST 7

Considering I haven’t been to class since before Christmas, it’s amazing how quickly I’ve gotten back into the swing of academia. On Monday we started the 2-week intensive Czech course that all exchange students are required to take before the semester officially starts up on February 22, and so far I am LOVING it. I’m in a small, 12-person class taught by Lenka, this absurdly AMAZING Czech woman who’s all smiles and laughs, and probably one of the best teachers I’ve ever had, period. Class is held from 9am-1:45pm (or in Czech time, “9-13:45”) in a 5th floor classroom in an obscure building on Jindřišska Street, just off Wenceslas Square. This building is kinda sketch: the lights have a tendency to turn themselves on and off (not good when you’re halfway up the giant circular staircase and suddenly in pitch blackness) and the elevator can’t decide just how much weight it can carry – sometimes its “overload” button beeps when there are only 3 people aboard, and sometimes it carries 7 people without a sound. I’ve decided it’s not really about the weight of the load; the elevator’s just a bitch. (Too bad Jake’s not there to tell it off.)

The class absolutely rocks my socks. You’d think that spending 5 hours a day cooped up in a tiny classroom learning a difficult language with practically zero overlap with English would be frustrating and possibly even insanity-inducing, but somehow I love it. I blame 3 main factors. First, Sam (yes, you, big sister!). She’s always loved foreign languages, trying to learn everything from Swahili to ancient Egyptian at one point or another, and somehow, over time, her passion has rubbed off (if even just a little) on me. Second, my fellow Czech cronies, Kacy and Walt. These kids are absolute kooks – they keep me entertained and awake despite the early hours and long days. Finally, Lenka, our teacher. This lady is incredible, more like a friend than a professor. I could see her being an amazing Kindergarten teacher because of her personality – so sweet and patient – but she’s also hilarious. She likes to tell us stories about Czech traditions (for example, every Easter boys go to girls’ houses, sing a song, and then hit the girl with a switch, and in exchange she gives him a decorated egg… definitely one of their odder traditions) but she also likes to hear all about what things are like in America, so it’s like we’re sharing information rather than being lectured. It’s funny because I usually dislike hard classes based purely on the fact that they’re so hard, but I LOVE this Czech class. I’m gonna miss it when it ends.

The first day of class we learned very basic Czech phrases (including my perpetual favorite “ahoj” -- pronounced “ahoy” and meaning “hello”) and how to pronounce the words. I won’t go into detail here lest I bore you to tears with grammar rules and vocabulary drills, but I will say that Czech words have a tendency to have way too many letters and way too many syllables, and memorizing them is a real pill. At the end of class every day, my head feels vaguely like it’s ready to explode from such an overdose of information, but I’m surprised and pleased to report that I seem to be retaining quite a bit of what I’m learning.

Tuesday night marked a nice diversion from the daily grind. Kate, Adrian, Jessica, Walt, Kacy, and I saw a traditional black light theatre show at one of Rick Steves’ favorite theatres: Ta Fantastika. As Prague is practically the only place in the world where you can find this nonverbal, absurdist theatre style, Kate and I (theatre majors unite!) knew we’d have to see at least one black light show while we were here, and the others got dragged along for what would prove to be a downright WACKO evening. We knew going into it that it was supposed to be “weird” and “different” – what we didn’t realize was just HOW crazy it would be! The show tonight was called “Aspects of Alice,” a reinterpretation of the “Alice in Wonderland.” Now, “Alice” is wacky on its own – add the absurdist black light theatre elements and it’s downright ridiculous. I really can’t explain its lunacy in words; the whole show felt like one long acid trip. Take a look at this link to get a better idea, but keep in mind that the live show is WAY trippier than the video makes it out to be:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElMrqam-WyY

CRAZY, right?! Anyway, that was quite the adventure. Also, we didn’t realize at the time, but there were 2 shows every night – the earlier “PG-13” show, and the later, let’s say… naughtier show. We went to the “calmer” of the two and even that was fairly raunchy… I can’t even imagine what the later show would be like.

On Wednesday we took our first class field trip, to the World Press Photo exhibit in the Old Town Hall. It was an absolutely breathtaking collection, a compilation of the best news photos from all of 2009. I loved the “photo of the year.” It was taken during President Obama’s most recent visit to Prague and places him and the Czech Republic’s first democratic leader, President Masaryk, side by side, with all of Prague traversing the space between them. It’s practically an inspirational poster, a reminder of the democracy that triumphed over communism in the Velvet Revolution of 1989 and a sign of its continued strength today.

Other photographs were a lot harder on the heart. Probably the set that affected me the most was pictures of women raped in the Hutu-Tutsi conflict. So many faces; so many innocent victims. One girl was only 11 when she was raped and disowned by her family, forced to fend for herself in the world. She barely escaped being sold into the sex trade, and today is still struggling to survive from day to day. I looked into her eyes and I saw such sadness, such pain – I’m at an absolute loss for words. I will never understand the evil in this world.

But I’ll try not to dwell. On Thursday my Czech class took yet another field trip, this one to the streets of Prague to practice our Czech. It was the first time we’d practiced speaking Czech to actual Czech people, and it was semi-terrifying. Lenka sent us off to ask for directions (“Kde je tramvaj?”), to check the prices of English newspapers (“Kolik stojí anglicky noviny?”), etc. It was so empowering! It was a major confidence-builder when the Czech people responded to me in Czech – it meant they actually understood what I asked! Of course, the majority of the time I had ZERO clue what they responded, but I smiled, said thank you (“Dĕkuji!”), and wandered off all proud of myself.

Later that night we had our second “family” dinner, and this time the family was even bigger. We barely fit at the table, but somehow there was enough pasta (and salad and bread and dessert and wine … okay, so it was more a feast than a dinner) for everyone. It was a loud, giggly, rowdy bunch and I loved absolutely every moment – except maybe when Diego did a shot through his nose. That was CRAZY, one of those “did he really just do that?! How is he not dead now?!” moments, but simultaneously crazy impressive because c’mon, who DOES that?! I didn’t want to leave, but alas, I had to study for my Czech midterm the next morning.

Friday was wonderful because not only did I kick the midterm’s ass but I also FINISHED class for the week! Our “field trip” that day was oddly entertaining. Lenka split us into groups and gave each group a shopping list. The catch was, the list was in all Czech, and we weren’t allowed to use English to decode it. At this point I had the Czech vocabulary of a toddler and the confused doe-eyes to match, and somehow I suspected that the few Czech phrases I DID know (“What’s your name? My name is Stephanie. I’m a student.”) weren’t going to be of much help. Soon my group found itself at a grocery store searching for what turned out to be a donut, an obscure ingredient used to make cheesecake, and onions. Our tactic was fairly simple – meander the aisles, find an approachable-looking clerk or customer, and ask for the location of an item. Kinda impressive, I know. :P

The mission was a success and just like that, it was the “vikend” (<-- yes, that’s Czech). Suddenly we had time to explore the city and explore we did. Following our resident hiking-expert Kacy, we crossed Charles Bridge and hit a famous American-themed restaurant called Bohemia Bagel. The food was only so-so but man-oh-man was the eye candy delectable. Our waiter was all muscle-y and gorgeous, a real Czech hunk, a fact that Kacy and I seemed to appreciate much more than our male dining mates.

I almost forgot! Just before eating, we detoured to see what may very well be the world’s ODDEST statue: two men peeing into a tiny pond, their mmhmmhmms swiveling to draw shapes (perhaps even write their names?) in the water. Of course I took a picture (how could I NOT?!). Why this statues isn’t more famous I have no idea.

Anyway, after a lunch of eye candy and bagel sandwiches, we continued our walking tour at Lennon Wall, a formerly ordinary wall that during the communist regime transformed into monument to free speech. Every night, students would flock to the wall and under the cover of night graffiti the wall with messages of peace (often in the form of John Lennon’s song lyrics, which praised freedom – a concept foreign to the Czech people under communist rule) and calls for change, and every morning, the Communist police would whitewash the wall. But to no avail – by the next day, the wall would be covered yet again. The Lennon Wall was one of the first acts of the peaceful Czech rebellion again communism that would culminate in the Velvet Revolution of 1989.

Just a couple feet farther down the road we came to a bridge absolutely covered in padlocks. In Prague, lovers traditionally affix a padlock to this bridge as a concrete symbol of their love, and today the bridge is COVERED with locks. Some are huge, some are dingy, and one is a random bike lock – but they’re all beautiful because of what they symbolize.

Our last stop on this whirlwind tour was at Prague’s “Dancing House,” an odd piece of architecture along the Vltava River. Its other nickname is “Fred and Ginger”… perhaps in this picture you can see why.

After dinner at a pizzeria, it was time to get ready for our first Friday night out in Prague. Lucky for us, it was 80s/90s night at Lucerna, a crazy fun dance club/pub, so the decision as to where to go was easy. We caught literally the last metro of the night at midnight and arrived at the already bursting-at-the-seams club within minutes. Then came the most overwhelming part of the night: dealing with coat check! There were about 50 people pushing and shoving to get to the front of the line; all you could do was throw politeness to the wind and join in the madness. Luckily I had two great “blockers” (thanks, Adrian and Diego!) so I managed to escape the area bruise-free, but other kids weren’t so lucky.

The hard part done, it was time to have some fun. Some people got drinks but others – myself included – headed straight to the dance floor to get the party started. It was a ridiculously fun night, full of all those songs you know by heart but probably shouldn’t admit knowing if you want to maintain any semblance of being cool. We danced and sang along for hours and hours til long after we were sweaty and stinky and gross – it was glorious.

Towards the wee hours of the morning, things began to go a bit crazy. And while I admit that the drunk European boys whipping their pants off and jiggling onstage contributed to the “craziness” of which I speak, I’m referring more so to the part where Adrian was roofied. Somehow, Adrian ended up with a drink of unknown origin and downed the whole thing. Turns out that drink was drugged, and before long, so was Adrian. Kate was the first to notice that something was amuck, and she grabbed me to make sure her mind wasn’t making things up. Sure enough, she was right – the boy was acting downright GOOFY. And not normal, drunk goofy, but “eyes rolling into the back of his head, petting the wall, and abnormally engrossed in the poofiness of Jake’s luscious locks” goofy. GOOFY.

Kate and I tried to get him off the stage, but he kept insisting he was fine and as he’s rather larger than us ladies, we called over Walt and Jake to help us get him out of there. Adrian got angry that we were so worried about him and stomped off, at which point I got fed up and left with Chris, Ryan, and an extremely friendly (read: shwastey-faced) Jordan. After we left, Kate went to check on Adrian again and found that he’d completely forgotten the “I’m FINE” rant from just a few minutes earlier – probably not a good sign. She somehow wrangled him into his coat and out of the club all by herself. By this point he was acting even GOOFIER, fluctuating between multiple extreme personalities (starving, excitable, depressed, paranoid, etc.). Apparently the highlight of his insanity was his belief that everyone was trying to steal his sausage (purchased for him by the patient and wonderful – daresay angelic! – Kate). After fully consuming said sausage, he then became terrified someone would attempt to steal it from his stomach, a fear so overwhelming that he was reduced to full-fledged whimpering on the public tram. Jake’s attempts to make light of the situation (“what color do you feel like?”) convinced Adrian that the real Jake had been EATEN, and that this new Jake was a much meaner version of the original. Adrian then worried that upon entering the dorm, he too would be at risk of being eaten, and almost refused to go inside. Luckily he got back safe and sound, a little sick the next morning but otherwise just fine. It’s funny in retrospect but that boy was seriously drugged – it’s terrifying to think what might’ve happened had the drug reached its intended victim.

Saturday was incredibly chill, everyone exhausted from the night before. Originally, the plan was to do something calm and laid-back that night (perhaps hit a karaoke bar) but by 9:30pm I was in the mood for something a little more exciting. Even though it was early, Rebecca, Kristina, and I decided to head to the most famous nightclub in Prague: Karlovy Lazne. Apparently the largest club in Eastern Europe, Karlovy Lazne rocks my socks. It’s a 5-story club with uniquely themed music and bars on each floor. There’s the hip-hop floor (AKA the sweaty grinding floor), the European techno floor (oonsa-oonsa), the “chill” floor (so smoky it’s like someone turned on a fog machine!), the popular-music floor (oh Lady Gaga), and my absolute favorite: the oldies floor, which we ladies promptly dubbed the “show choir floor.” On this level, they played everything from “The Twist” to “Grease Lightning,” and to put it quite simply, we OWNED the dance floor. Earlier in the evening, we were literally the only ones out there, rocking out to “Thriller” and disco and “Footloose,” but too soon we were joined by swarms of dancers (obviously inspired by our immaculate footwork). It was an amazing night. :)

On Sunday, I dragged myself out of bed bright and early to be a good Notre Dame girl and venture over to church. Walt, Kacy, and I arrived at The Church of St. Mary the Victorious much too early, but that gave us time to act like tourists before Mass began. See, this Church is home to the famous Infant Jesus of Prague, the most religiously significant statue in the city. Since its arrival in Prague from Spain in 1556, the statue has been credited with granting thousands of miracles to the people who pray at its feet. Apparently people trek from all over Europe to pray beneath this statue, and sure enough throughout mass, tourists were filing through the church, stopping to take pictures of the famous Baby with hardly a second glance at the service going on behind them. The mass itself was a little different. It was in English, but hardly anyone in attendance spoke English as a first language, so the usual responses were practically silent. The priest sang almost everything besides the homily, and the acoustics were so terrible that half the time it was impossible to make out any of his words. I was surprised to find the church completely full – the Czech Republic is considered the least religious country in all of Europe, after all!

After mass, I decided to continue my religion-themed day by visiting Prague’s Jewish Quarter. For 200czk (~$10), we got admission to four synagogues, the Old Jewish Cemetery, and the Ceremonial Hall. Altogether, these buildings make up The Jewish Museum in Prague. Originally, the Museum was founded by the Jewish community in 1906 to house important religious artifacts, but with the arrival of the Nazis in Prague in 1939, it was closed and replaced with the Nazi-approved “Central Jewish Museum.” This museum’s intention was startlingly different than the original. In light of the impending “extinction” of the Jewish religion, this new museum’s sole aim was to keep a record of Judaism for the history books. When the war ended, the museum became part-memorial and part-museum under the direction of the Council of Jewish Communities in Czechoslovakia.

Our first stop was the Pinkas Synagogue, a touching memorial to the Czech Jews killed in the Holocaust. The walls of this synagogue-turned-memorial are covered floor to ceiling with the names of the victims – thousands of names, filling rooms and rooms with not an inch of blank wall space to be found. The list is horrifying – each name represents a person; a human being with a soul, a family, a purpose. Each name marks a life snuffed out by evil, a victim to the senseless annihilation of entire families and communities. The memorial continues upstairs where there is an exhibit dedicated to the children of Terezín Concentration Camp, the youngest victims in this horrific era. It’s appropriate that directly outside the Pinkas Synagogue is the Old Jewish Cemetery. Here there are over 12,000 tombstones crammed into a small, park-size area, the oldest dating all the way back to 1439. A narrow path winds through the cemetery and it is a somber, heart-heavying walk.

Leaving the cemetery we continued our tour of the Jewish Quarter next door at the Ceremonial Hall and the Klausen Synagogue (both filled with educational exhibits about the Jewish religion, beliefs, and practices) and a little farther away, at the beautiful Spanish Synagogue and Maisel Synagogue (both containing exhibits about the history of Judaism and Jews in Eastern Europe). All were impressive, but none could compare on the entertainment scale to my accidental suction-cuppage of Alex’s rear end. The boy was FALLING, ok? I saved his LIFE.

On Monday morning we returned to the ol’ grind, class and then a groceries run. Next on my list: LAUNDRY. It had been 3 full weeks since I first stepped foot onto European soil, and I was officially OUT of underwear. I crammed all my clothes into one ginormous backpack and set off to find the Laundromat. I had a hand-drawn map courtesy of Mr. Walt, but unfortunately my cursed inability to navigate reared its ugly head and I ended up about a mile PAST the Laundromat. Not to worry – before long, I was loading my clothes into the washer and learning that laundry is ridiculously expensive here. Before long, I was back at the dorm, clean clothes in hand, getting ready for a night of self-discovery. Okay, fine, so that was a BIT of an exaggeration -- it was more a night of PUB-discovery than SELF-discovery. But it was still a kick-ass night replete with a creepy dark bar with painfully loud karaoke, a tiny 5-table bar with heavenly hot chocolate, and a gypsy man and his toddler son calling for us to come inside and smoke with them. Yes, “them.” We also stumbled upon Prague’s Television Tower, voted the 2nd ugliest building in the world. Here’s a picture so you can judge for yourself:

On Tuesday, we spent the morning in class and the afternoon on a field trip to Saints Cyril and Methodius Cathedral. This church is famous because its crypt served as a hideout for Reinhard Heydrich’s assassins – the heroic Czech paratroopers Jan Kubiš and Jozef Gabčík – in 1942. Heydrich, you might know, was a high-ranking Nazi official, chief of the Reich Main Security Office and the appointed governor of Moravia and Bohemia. He was single-handedly responsible for launching the Nazi’s terror tactics in the Czech lands, including the widespread torture and execution of dissidents. In retaliation for this assassination, Hitler ordered the annihilation of Lidice, a small town just northwest of Prague with apparent “ties” to the group responsible for the killing. All men over the age of 16 were murdered on the spot, the women and children shipped off to death camps, and the town itself leveled. Meanwhile, the paratroopers were hiding out in the Cathedral’s crypt with 5 other resistance fighters until someone turned them in. 800 Nazi troops attacked the cathedral but failed to catch anyone alive – those who weren’t killed in the crossfire took their own lives with their last bullets rather than be captured.

From there we ventured off to a much happier venue: the festival at Old Town Square. Despite the cold and the snow there were dozens of booths set up, some selling crafts, others selling some of the most delectable food known to mankind. The sausages were as amazing as always, but what really blew everyone away were the crepes! Whoever thought of combining banana and Nutella and putting it in a pancake should be praised as a genius. Our stomachs full, we set out to explore some more of Prague. We breezed through a tiny theatre bookstore and soon found ourselves in the most amazing vintage clothing store. Now remember, I’m the girl who hates to shop – so if I say a shop is “amazing” it must be REALLY amazing! It was a one-room store but oh my goodness! The clothes were old and used, but so authentic, so genuinely old-timey, that I just fell in love. I saw 60s hippy sundresses; 40s news-reporter-esque pencil skirts; even an aviator jacket straight out of “Forever Young.” I didn’t buy anything but I could see myself going back there, if only just to explore.

Just a bit farther down the road was a marionette shop, so of course we had to stop. Let me say right now that marionettes are CREEPY. Some are supposed to be cute – little peasant girls with big eyes and long blonde braids and the like – but even the “cute” ones make me a little antsy. Dolls should NOT move that fluidly and look that lifelike, it’s downright disturbing. There were some funny marionettes – Harry Potter, Charlie Chaplin, even Gandalf – but the majority just plain ol’ creeped me out. I suppose I can cross “marionette show” off my to-do list!

That night and the next were a wee bit boring due in large part to the fact that the Czech final – worth 50% of the final grade – was on Thursday, and there was quite a bit to learn. I hunkered down to learn my nouns and verbs and conjugations, but by Wednesday night I was in desperate need of a study break. I met up with the gang in the basement pub and somehow decided it was a good idea to play darts for the first time ever. First of all, let me remind you that I am NOT a sports stud. I can’t aim for the life of me, and “the dud” (my useless left hand) certainly doesn’t help matters much. There was no way me-and-darts was going to end up well. Regardless, I gave it a shot… and as anticipated, I failed miserably. I assumed the stance, I aimed, I threw… and time after time I kept missing the dartboard altogether. Finally, I decided I’d just CLOSE MY EYES and chuck it. After all, I couldn’t get worse, right?

RIGHT! In fact, I got better! MUCH better! I took one shot with my eyes closed and I scored a DEAD-CENTER BULLSEYE. Yes, me, Stephanie Rice, sports-failure-extraordinaire. I scored a BULLSEYE. I started screaming and jumping, running in circles and giggling like a madman. It was by far the proudest sports-related moment of my life.

My luck continued. The next morning, I aced my Czech final and then ventured off on the coolest field trip of all time – to the pub to “practice our Czech.” That evening I saw a performance by the Prague Philharmonic Orchestra (supposedly the best orchestra in all of Europe) AND was able to sneak out at intermission after almost falling asleep through the first hour and a half of classical music. I made it back to the dorm just in time for “family dinner” and then STILL had time to Skype the amazing Miss Maria Kim before I fell asleep. Like I said, it was a lucky day.
Friday was the last day of our Czech class, and as the final was out of the way, it was time to have some fun. We played Czech hangman for a while and then ventured off to a small cinema to see a Czech movie called “Želarý” about 1940s Czech country life from the middle of the Nazi occupation to the time of the Soviet liberation. It was an INCREDIBLE movie. If you can find a copy of it with English subtitles, I’d highly recommend it!

The fun continued that evening as “the family” gathered in Walt and Alex’s room for some pre-clubbing merriment replete with terrible dancing, even worse singing, and a few more retellings of the now infamous Alex-ass-grabbing tale. Just before midnight we took the metro to Lucerna, the same club we’d hit last week, and hit the dance floor. Tonight’s music was even more incredible than last week’s if you can believe it, encompassing everything from “Grease Lightning” to the Dirty Dancing song to the Macarena and beyond. Just my kind of music! :)

Saturday morning came much too soon. I’d barely been asleep when my alarm went off, waking me up for the AIFS-sponsored Dobŕíš Castle tour. Turns out the “castle” was actually just a chateau, no turrets or princesses or knights in sight. It was a fairly disappointing tour because of that, but also an unusually entertaining one because of the chateaux’s odd collection of paintings. I doubt I was supposed to find the works funny, but how could I not? Two separate paintings featured baby cherubs in full-on fist fights, and another captured Lord Voldemort’s look-alike in a half smirk-half grimace. Also entertaining were the booties we were required to wear so as not to scratch the old floors. All were Bozo-sized with soles so soft that walking on carpet felt remarkably similar to ice-skating.

I continued my day of culture by visiting the Museum of Communism in the afternoon. As the Czech Republic was under communist rule from 1948 through 1989, this is a particularly relevant topic here, more so because of the impending elections. Right now, 12% of the Czech population identifies with the communist party. The two largest political parties each hold 20% of the population’s support, but with votes divided among multiple candidates in these parties, the communist candidate poses a real threat. The election will be just after I depart Prague for the States (May 28-29, 2010), so it’ll be intriguing to see how everything plays out.

The museum itself was small but informative, a good overview of the history of the Czech Republic. My favorite part of the day, though, was FINALLY catching Ian on Skype. Ian AND Maria within just a few days of each other – it doesn’t get much better than that. :) (You know what WOULD make it better though? YOU skyping me. Yes, YOU. I miss YOU… whoever “you” are. So get Skyping. :P)

Congratulations on making through this incredibly long post, and til next time – Miluju ty! :)